Raising a Delinguent

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How to raise a delinquent in twelve easy steps

1. Begin in infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.

2. When he picks up bad habits laugh at him. That will make him think he is elite.

3. Don’t give any spiritual training. Wait till he is older then let him decide for himself.

4. Avoid the use of the word wrong. it may develop a complex. This will condition him to believe later when he is arrested for stealing a car that society is against him and he is being persecuted.

5. Pick up everything he leaves lying around, books, shoes, clothes. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.

6. Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Let him watch whatever video he likes. Be careful to ensure that his milk is pasteurized and that his food is healthy, but let his mind feed on garbage.

7. Quarrel frequently in front of your child. In this way he will not be so shocked when the home is broken up later.

8. Give a child all the spending money he wants, never let him earn his own money. Why should he have things as tough as you.

9. Satisfy all his cravings for food, drink, comfort. See that every desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.

10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.

11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, ‘I never could do anything with him.’

12. Prepare for a life of grief. You’ve earned it and you are sure to get it.

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